


break a few eggs

by mqrkhyuck



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Cars, Confusion, Eggs, Everyone Is Gay, High School, I dont know how to tag, I hate myself, M/M, Renjun is sad, SO MANY EGG PUNS, Strangers to Lovers, but like i wasnt going to add luren in there, hyuck is a vengeful boy, its mainly markhyuck, this has luren in it, who do u think i am?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-06 06:39:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16827181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mqrkhyuck/pseuds/mqrkhyuck
Summary: Hyuck hatches a plan to get revenge on the asshole who shattered his best friend's heart. He really should've made sure to check the car he was egging though.or where hyuck somehow ends up egging mark's car





	break a few eggs

“He did WHAT?!” Donghyuck barks, pounding a fist against the lockers. 

Huang Renjun rolls his eyes at the dramatic antics of his best friend and shrugs off his bag before shoving it into his locker. 

“It’s not a big deal. You don’t have to make it a big deal. It was a shit way of rejecting someone but yeah.” The elder trails off and sighs when he sees his friend’s quickly reddening face. “Hyuck, seriously, let it go. I’m over it.”

“Wong Yukhei laughed in your face when you asked him out! When I get my hands on him, oh I’m gonna-” Here Hyuck lets out a strangled sort of noise while wildly gesturing. He’s shaking. No one humiliates Renjun but him. No one. 

Renjun grabs the textbook he needs and slams the locker shut, turning to look at Hyuck with pure conviction in his eyes. “You will do  _ nothing _ . I’m going to pretend this never happened and never look at him again. And  _ you _ ,” Renjun points an accusatory finger at him, “will not cook up some crazy revenge scheme. Promise?”

Hyuck pretends to think about it before sagging his shoulders in what Renjun will take as defeat. He shoves his hands in the pocket of his ripped jeans. “Fine. I promise.”

Renjun scans his face, looking for any sign of bullshit but seems to relax before letting his elvish features melt into a soft smile. “Thanks. I’ll see you at lunch.”

And with that he slinks off back to class, shoulders hunched over, clearly not over the events that transpired that morning and Hyuck watches him go. He pulls out his hands the pocket of his jeans and uncrosses his fingers. 

“Doesn’t count.” Hyuck reveals, boasting to absolutely no one. 

Wong Yukhei better watch his back.

* * *

Wong Yukhei was one of the kids at school who could drive and also one of the few who actually drove to school. Hyuck knew this because his crazy coach made the entire cross country team run around the parking lot at ass o’clock in the morning. More than often, Hyuck had spotted the Chinese senior with the face of an ulzzang (and the personality of a two dimensional jock from a c-list High School movie, apparently) climbing out of the gray sedan. 

Hyuck doesn’t know much about Yukhei but he knows the guy treasures his car. So naturally, he decides to egg it. 

It wasn’t too hard getting his hands on a carton of eggs during school. He knew the home economics class always had an abundance of ingredients so he snuck in during lunch, leaving a very confused Renjun behind, and grabbed the carton before  _ yeeting  _ out of there. His plan was working out pretty well, considering he just hatched (haha) an hour ago. 

He beelines for the parking lot, keeping an eye on the time. He had 15 minutes until lunch was up. He had to commit the perfect crime in 15 minutes. No big deal. Hyuck had done more in less. 

He spots the sparkling gray sedan, an evil grin tugging his face. He always though the gray could use a little yellow. Really, Yukhei should be thanking him. 

He pops the carton open, the 6 pearly eggs shone beautifully with the sun’s natural light blanketing them. It was a shame really. Wasting food like this. Yukhei really was an asshole, making him waste these eggs. Oh well, Renjun was worth it. 

He slams the first egg on the passenger window. “He’s an asshole.”

The second. “He’s not an asshole.”

The third. “He’s an asshole.”

The fourth “He’s not an asshole.”

The fifth. “He’s an asshole.”

_ Wait.  _

The last egg stares at him mockingly and he curses himself. He was never good at math. 

He tosses the last egg. “He’s still a asshole.” He says anyway. He didn’t need the petals telling him anything (or in this case, the eggs). Wong Yukhei was an asshole. And assholes deserved to get egged. It was the only constant in this chaotic universe. He was just following the natural order. 

He stands back to admire his handiwork and smiles to himself. “Egg-celent.” Mentally high fiving himself. God, he was so fucking funny. 

He turns around to bolt back to lunch and act none the wiser when he collides straight into someone.

Fearing the worst, Hyuck looks up and relaxes when he sees its some kid and not Wong Yukhei. 

“What do you think you’re doing?”

Hyuck grins. “Oh, you know. Just  _ yolking _ around.”

The boy doesn’t laugh but seems to glare. “Are you fucking serious?”

Hyuck tilts his head. “No, dude. It was a pun. Yolking- joking. You get it?”

The boy just stares at him, face adopting an expression of disbelief and anger. 

“Are you friends with Yukhei?” Hyuck asks, looking nervous. “I’ll pay you to stay hush about it. And in my defense, he so deserves it. And it’s like eggs. His car will be fine. Just like egg-nore me.” He couldn’t help it. He  _ cracked _ himself up sometime. Hah! He did it again!

“Yukhei?” The boy repeats, confused but evidently still angry. 

“Yeah. Wong Yukhei. Or Lucas. Or whatever he’s calling himself now.” Hyuck rattles, eye glancing at his Hello Kitty watch, that Renjun bought as a joke but Hyuck wore it everyday just to spite him, and he bit his lip nervously. He needed to scram quick. 

“Uh, I’ll give you my number. Text me the price for keeping your mouth shut. But I really gotta get going.” 

The boy appears even more confused and doesn’t move so Hyuck huffs and rolls his eyes, grabbing the boy’s phone- which was lying in the boy’s left hand (the right had a pair of keys)- and slid it open, for some reason it didn’t have a passcode (was he really a teenager?), and texted himself an emoji of an egg. He tosses it back to the boy, who was still gawking at him and salutes the boy.

Renjun raises an eyebrow at the younger boy crashing back to the seat across from him. 

“Where were you?”

Hyuck bites into his egg salad sandwich. “Had a prior egg-gagement.”

“A what?”

Hyuck swallows. “Engagement.”

Renjun doesn’t ask anything but he continues to look suspicious, even as they walk back to their class 2 minutes later.

* * *

Hyuck was looking forward to seeing Wong Yukhei’s big freakout or at least hearing about it but by the end of the day, no one had said anything. Hyuck felt a little disappointed. Maybe Yukhei would complain about it tomorrow.

He collapses on his bed, trying not to feel too disappointed at the lack of reaction. Damn! He was looking forward to starting the nickname, ‘Yolkhei’. Holy shit, he was too good at this.

He pouts and slides his phone open but before he could click any app, a little ping catches his attention and his eyes fly to the top of the screen. It’s a message from a number he can’t recognize.

From Unknown:  **_Why were you egging Wong Yukhei’s car?_ **

Hyuck’s heart plummets before he remembers the boy who caught him in the act and his whole body huffs a sigh in relief. Oh, yeah. He had forgotten about him. He taps the notification and quickly replies. 

To Unknown:  **_bc he’s an asshole._ **

The response is immediate. 

From Unknown:  **_Did he do something specifically? Or do you just egg assholes?_ **

Hyuck smirks. This was a fun conversation and it was nice someone knew about his awesome prank. 

To Unknown:  **_broke my friend’s heart. so i broke some eggs. in my eyes, he’s not out of the frying pan yet. but it's a start._ **

There wasn’t anything for a few minutes and Hyuck had gotten lost in a game of piano tiles when a message notification threw off his tempo. He grumbles as he clicks on it, a little peeved he didn’t beat his high score but quickly grins when he sees the message. 

From Unknown:  **_Ur a good friend._ **

To Unknown:  **_yeah. i know. sigh, so happy someone finally sees it._ **

Hyuck’s about to send it but decides to to add something else.

To Unknown:  **_yeah. i know. sigh, so happy someone finally sees it. does this mean ur not demanding payment?_ **

Hyuck bites his lip, a nasty habit he had, and chuckles when he reads the message. 

From Unknown:  **_A dollar fifty._ **

To Unknown:  **_any particular reason why u think i have the allowance of a 7 year old?_ **

From Unknown:  **_i need to be reimbursed._ **

Hyuck furrows his eyebrows at that. What the hell did that mean?

To Unknown:  **_what the hell does that mean?_ **

From Unknown:  **_Oh nothing. :) Too hard to egg-splain._ **

Hyuck actually hates the laugh that trickles out of his mouth. He quickly writes back. 

To Unknown:  **_okay wow that was lame_ **

From Unknown:  **_And egg-nore wasn’t?_ **

Hyuck smiles to himself before typing a response.

To Unknown:  **_never claimed i wasnt, egg boy._ **

From Unknown:  **_Wait how am I egg boy? You were literally the one egging a car._ **

To Unknown:  **_yeah but ur the one who enabled me. so ur egg boy, my loyal sidekick._ **

From Unknown:  **_Ah, of course. And pray tell what is your hero name?_ **

To Egg Boy:  **_egg man._ **

From Egg Boy:  **_LMAO_ **

And that’s how it continued for a while, the only sounds to be heard being the occasional giggle slipping past his lips and the clacking of the electronic keypad.

* * *

Hyuck practically skips to class the next day, a little tired from staying up talking to his egg boy but still energized regardless. He hums to himself as Renjun glances at him.

“Did you do anything to Yukhei?”

Hyuck fakes a look of innocence. “No? Why what happened?”

Renjun smiles and looks down. “Yukhei apologized. He said he was really flustered so he just laughed when I asked him out and then he ran away cuz he was embarrassed. So he asked me out to the movies. We’re going to see Fantastic Beasts.”

Hyuck gives him a smile. “That’s great! I heard his car got egged yesterday. Guess that humbled him or something.”

Renjun tilts his head. “His car didn’t get egged?”

“What?”

“You must be thinking of Mark Lee. His car got egged yesterday. I saw him cleaning it up after lunch. Who told you it was Yukhei?”

Hyuck’s heart sinks. He had egged some random dude’s car? Big yikes.

“Oh just heard it around you know. Must’ve heard wrong.” He rubs his neck, laughing nervously.

Renjun nods, unable to wipe the smile from his face. “Well, I’ll see you at lunch. Hopefully you’ll be there for more than 5 minutes this time.”

“Yeah, for sure.” Hyuck assures him, brain scrambled. (Wow, when will the egg puns stop?)

He’s about to head back to class when he sees his egg boy messing with his locker and he is suddenly much cuter than Hyuck remembered him being. Woah.

He checks his phone to make sure he looks as cute as he can be and yes he totally was. He saunters over to the boy, digging out the dollar fifty out of his pockets.

“Your mysterious reimbursement.” He declares, startling the boy a bit, holding it out.

Egg boy, Hyuck just realizes he has no idea what his name is, quickly grins and takes the money. “Much appreciated.” And Hyuck decides he really likes his voice.

“You better stay quiet. I just found out I egged the wrong damn car. Which kinda ended up being a good thing because it turns out Wong Yukhei is not an asshole after all. The eggs were right.” Hyuck realizes. “But now I egged some poor guy’s car. I can only pray to the heavens he’s an asshole.”

Egg boy grins. “What if he wasn’t an asshole?”

Hyuck shudders. “I don’t want to think about it. I’d never be able to sleep.” He looks down at his hands. “There’s blood on these hands.”

“A tad dramatic.”

“Egg man takes his sins very seriously.”

The boy laughs and Hyuck can’t help but notice how his laugh was funnier than the actual joke. Cute.

“Well, I should be heading to class soo-” But Hyuck doesn’t get to finish his sentence because Wong Yukhei is barreling into the conversation.

“Mark! Mark! He said yes! Renjun said yes! Thanks for the heads up yesterday. Didn’t realized how badly I fucked up. Our future kids will owe it to you.” And as quickly the obnoxiously loud boy entered the conversation, he left not before grabbing Hyuck’s egg boy into a gigantic hug.

While egg boy tried to compose himself, Hyuck felt his sanity slowly sapping. He glances up at the boy in front of him, eyes flickering with realization.

“Oh god.”

“Huh?”

“Mark. You’re Mark Lee.”

“Yes?” Egg bo- Mark confirms. 

“Oh my god. You watched me egg your car.”

Mark lets out a laugh. “Oh, haha yeah.”

“Oh my god.”

“Hey, it’s no big deal.”

“I said, yolking around. Oh my god, I said  _ yolking around. _ ”

Mark’s grinning bemusedly at him, clearly enjoying Hyuck’s meltdown.

“Are you done?”

“Please be an asshole.” Hyuck pleads. 

Mark shakes his head. “I’m not.”

Hyuck lets out a pitiful moan into his hands and Mark’s cracking up.

“Hey, its okay. Really. Hyuck, calm down.”

“All along I thought I was the hero. But really I was the  _ villian _ .” Hyuck laments.

Mark waves the dollar and 50 cents at Hyuck. “You reimbursed me. It’s about the cost of some baby wipes. We’re all forgiven. Trust me.  _ Omelettin’ _ it go.”

Hyuck looks up at the shit eating grin on Mark’s face and he can’t believe it.

“Egg puns? Really? Now?”

“Hey, don’t take it personally. I’m just  _ egging _ you on.”

“Oh my god stop.”

“I should apologize though. You were quite  _ shell shocked  _ when you put it together.”

“STOP!”

Hyuck’s flustered and panicked but a few more shitty puns and some consoling later they’re cracking up. (Pun totally not intended. Just kidding it totally was.) And Hyuck’s really happy that he thought Wong Yukhei was an asshole. He was really happy he didn’t notice that Yukhei had a new car after selling his older one to his friend. And he was really happy that he egged an innocent boy’s car. Everything didn’t exactly go as planned but hey, that was okay.

After all, to make an omelet, you had to break a few eggs, right?

**Author's Note:**

> i have 2 hours to start a presentation because i wasted my time doing this.


End file.
